Hi Mom!
I ate pizza for an entire school week.
That statement alone yields many questions. Just as important, many answers. Blame it on academia. Blame it on my growing hatred for cooking on any day other than Sunday. Blame it on convenience. Blame it my cold shoulders turning away from this concept of “health”. So yeah, blame it on my fatalistic, narcissistic, blissfully ignorant self.
Call it a meeting with destiny. Right as I walk home from class, I notice a flyer lodged in my gated exterior door. Doughboy Pizza, an established Pizza parlor in Pico Rivera, decided to branch out to Placentia, about a mile from my place. I looked at the menu:
- Large pizzas: $7.50.
- X-Large pizzas: $9.50.
- Unlimited toppings.
I don’t quite remember the events that transpired after that. I might’ve fainted.
Upon waking up, I fell under a price-induced lapse in judgment. One large pizza. One X-Large pizza. I divided the toppings on the large pizza to break the monotony. I got their “deluxe pizza” option on the X-large.
Which is to say, I got every ingredient they offered on their ingredients list on one pizza. Pepperoni, sausage, ham, beef, olives, pineapple, green peppers, onion, mushrooms, jalapeno.
The pizzas had a funky smell. It might’ve been the olive brine mingling with the rest of the pizza, but I got over that fairly quickly. Not to my surprise, the pizza was mediocre. I say that with love and respect. The crust was not very bready, and overall, the pizza had a decent chew to it. They were liberal with the toppings. I had no complaints there.
To be honest, I’ve only had two bad pizza experiences in my life. One being that rectangular, soggy cheese pizza, packaged in plastic, served in both elementary and middle school. The other, being the god awful pizza I had on my trip to Berkeley last year.
And so I ate it. And ate it. And ate it. For 4 days.
I’m still alive. That must count for something. I’m caught in the middle of amazed and ashamed. Though, seeing as I am my own judge/ jury/executioner, the feeling of guilt was met with no consequence.
Moral of the story? I am absolutely shameless.